We Despair of Jelly Dougnuts

More dancing tonight. The Dawlish Dachshunds currently aren’t speaking with or to us because it was our Christmas Party and we got home late. No, not the one on Saturday, a different one. Do keep up. Lots of Scottish Dance here on Dawlish and it’s all wrapping up for the holidays.

We had live music and food afterwards…Actually, Rockingham Napier, charmer of WRENS is speaking to us. This is because he is as incorrigeable a flirt as his namesake and despite courting the Marschallin Cat, has yet to figure out how one holds a grudge. But anyway, Buffy isn’t speaking to us and Miss Marschallin is offended. Very.

So, anyway, because the animals that don’t flirt with us are shunning us, we’re drinking our tea for the evening. It’s called Jelly Doughnut, and it tastes like drinking jam.

We’ve always wondered what that would be like, you know? Back when we studied Eugene Onegin Penguin thoughtfully footnoted a line about passing the jam around. We went looking thinking it would be a lesson on Russian tea prep. Cue the world’s most useless footnote; Jam is a preservative that comes in flavours Raspberry, Strawberry, Blueberry, etc. Really? Really, Penguin?

If we were doing the Penguin debrief on this tea, we would now tell you that this tea tastes specifically like the preservative Raspberry Jam. You can make it by…But we like to be more helpful than Penguin.

What we are driving at here is that this is a ridiculously sweet tea. There’s some kind of confectionary thing in the mix – you know those pink things that aren’t sprinkles but you still decorate cakes with? They’re in here, cheerfully dissolving. So is some kind of currant and apple.

It’s much, much too sweet. Unless you have a sweet tooth, in which case you won’t have any qualms drinking faux jam.

It may also be our fault. We tipped the tin into our quilted cats mug. We only let it steep for about ninety seconds and that was enough to strip the enamel off our teeth. So, if you fancy it, use moderate amounts of tea and pour out immediately. Do not let stand.

On the other hand, it gave us the perfect poem for tonight. Enjoy!

Faithful Jelly Doughnut
Dennis Lee

Far across the ocean,
Far across the sea,
A faithful jelly donut
Is waiting just for me.

Its sugar shines with longing,
Its jelly glows with tears;
My donut has been waiting there
For twenty-seven years.

O faithful jelly donut,
I beg you; don’t despair!
My teeth are in Toronto, but
My heart is with you there.

And I will cross the ocean,
And I will cross the sea,
And I will crush you to my lips;
And make you one with me.

Unless you too cannot stand jelly doughnuts, in which case the fictive Rupert Giles will gladly have your share. He can certainly have ours!


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