In Which We All Need Levity

Forgive us if today’s blog runs short. We finished rattling off 4500 words for work approximately half an hour ago. A cup of tea later and the sensation is still the way we imagining walking into a brick wall feels.

We did manage to stop for elevenses and try today’s tea, though. We were anxious about it because it was called Sweet Potato Pie and we aren’t wild about sweet potatoes. A good rule of thumb is that if it’s orange and gourd-like, we probably don’t like it. The absolute worst offender on this front is sweed, which we used to think Mrs. Read was over-egging when she condemned it. But then we moved to a British hall of residence. Turns out Miss Read undersold how dire sweed is.

Luckily, Sweet Potato Pie tastes nothing like sweet potato. If it tastes of anything, it’s chestnut. We’re a bit sorry we didn’t ration this black tea out, because we would drink it again. But if you will name your teas after hideous orange gloop…

It’s also a highly restorative tea. It’s probably too caffeinated for anyone who doesn’t want much caffeine past mid-morning, but it suited us fine. It got us through the 4500 obligatory words for work.

Even so, after all of that, we need some levity. Here’s a textbook example of light verse to get you through your evening.

Some Rules
Wendy Cope

Stop, if the car is going “clunk”
Or if the sun has made you blind.
Don’t answer e-mails when you’re drunk.

You fire off something fierce. You’re sunk.
It’s irretrievable. It’s signed.
You feel your spirits going “clunk.”

Don’t hide your face with too much gunk,
Especially if it’s old and lined.
Don’t answer e-mails when you’re drunk.

Don’t live with thirty years of junk—
Those precious things you’ll never find.
Stop, if the car is going “clunk.”

Don’t fall for an amusing hunk,
However rich, unless he’s kind.
Don’t answer e-mails when you’re drunk.

In this respect, I’m like a monk:
I need some rules to bear in mind.
Stop, if the car is going “clunk.”
Don’t answer e-mails when you’re drunk.

We would add ‘Do not take on eleventh-hour projects of over three thousand words to be done by mid-morning Monday on a Thursday.’ But it doesn’t scan.


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