In Which Time May Or May Not Run Backwards

Today’s tea is called Headache Halo. This is accidentally apt, not that you’d know. So please allow us a minute to tell you about the ridiculous rigamarole involved in this Advent exercise.

Somewhere between the death of Augie Doggie and December 2022, our normal browser, Firefox (fast, reliable, does what it’s told) was deemed unable to run WordPress. So is the browser we long since rejected, Safari. That one made sense; Safari had become unusable at our end for anything except propelling time backwards.

But there’s a rumour we can run WordPress off of Chrome. Please picture us, late on Dec. 1, frantically downloading Chrome on the perfectly usable Firefox browser.

But why the fuss says you. We’re here, so it obviously worked. Well, sort of. The thing is, Chrome is Very Offended it’s not our Default Browser. It’s also slower than a very slow thing. There is treacle being poured into vats of molasses moving on snowbound trains to the frozen tundra that go faster than Chrome.

And while we could probably write the blog on the app, we’re not wild about trying to mcgyver poetry into cogency on there. So here we are, on this ridiculous browser that makes time slip backwards, wth one tab on the blog, one on the poem of the week, and another on the tea of the day.

Why?

Oh, didn’t we mention? This year David and Co have so thoroughly streamlined the enterprise that they have taken all relevant info off the smart gold tins. Steeping times, teaspoon amount, ingredients…Can’t be had without looking at the back of the box and risking discovering what else is in the calendar. Next year it will be so streamlined it won’t even be on the box. There won’t be a box. They’re going to put the ready-steeped tea in one communal teapot that pours a different tea each day. You heard it here first.

So three days in, Headache Halo sounds about right. Sorry, that was only supposed to take a minute, wasn’t it?

Luckily, this is a really lovely tea. It’s a rooibos blend that uses a combination of lavender, mint and willow to help with headaches. Does it work? We aren’t headache prone, so who knows. Alack, alas, we can tell you it will not speed up recalcitrant internet browser. But it may stop you defenestrating your laptop, so it has that going for it.

In all seriousness, we appreciate the blend. Neither mint or lavender on their own are tea flavours we’re wild about, though we’ll take lavender over camomile any day for a sleeping tonic. But the rooibos stops them being overwhelming. The result is a slightly-minty tea with no caffeine that may or may not cure headaches. Feel free to update us on that one. But we definitely recommend it for Mrs. Bennet’s nerves.

Here’s a poem to read over your headache cure-all of choice takes effect.

all nearness pauses, while a star can grow
e. e. cummings

all nearness pauses, while a star can grow

all distance breathes a final dream of bells;
perfectly outlined against afterglow
are all amazing and the peaceful hills

(not where not here but neither’s blue most both)

and history immeasurably is
wealthier by a single sweet day’s death:
as not imagined secrecies comprise

goldenly huge whole the upfloating moon.

Times a strange fellow;
more he gives than takes
(and he takes all)nor any marvel finds
quite disappearance but some keener makes
losing, gaining
—love! if a world ends

more than all worlds begin to(see?) begin

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